Where is God when calamity comes? If God is all powerful why does He allow our loved ones to suffer? When wading through hopelessness, these questions overwhelm many of us. This is the account of my own wrestling with similar agonies of the soul when I was told that my child was dying.Jacob was diagnosed at the age of 1 with a severe congenital heart defect that was so complex it was deemed untreatable. In desperation I reached out to God after previously neglecting my relationship with Him. I had wandered into passivity, but God was waiting to comfort, strengthen and renew my faith.This book documents Jacob’s journey through years of surgery, defying this prognosis. It also chronicles my struggle through perplexing seasons of pain, learning how a good God uses suffering for our growth, making us mature, fruitful followers. It is in the darkest times I have learnt to fear less and trust more, making me confident in His faithfulness. God did not answer my prayers for instant healing, but what He allowed in my life worked for my good.  I try to capture the way God tenderly ministered to me during those times in order to encourage others to hold fast to Him. I hope to spur on those ready to give up, to overcome and look for the shards of light that can be found in seasons of darkness.